Post by Robbie A on Mar 19, 2022 19:02:18 GMT -5
Fade in, Trixie Mars and Rob Arnold are sat in what looks like a quiet bar. Both are sat at a table, a glass of water in front of both of them. Arnold places his elbows on the table and rests his chin on his clasped hands, leaning towards the camera ever so slightly.
“So, finally Madame Wu sees sense and puts Trixie Mars in with the big boys. Now, don’t get me wrong it’s not the opportunity we’d have liked, although it’s sort of in the format we’ve come to expect.”
“Seriously I’ve never been in so many fatal four way matches!” Trixie chimes in.
“But this one at least has a twist.” He pauses. “I feel like I should have added an electricity based pun there.”
“You could have gone for it’s an amped up fatal four way.” He snaps his fingers and nods at Trixie in agreement.
“You’re right, I could have, damn. I’ll try and get another one in later.” He smirks. “Anyway, Trixie, you’re now in the mix for a brand new title in UPW, the Elemental Championship. When it was announced, part of me wondered if it was to distract some of the bigger players from circling around CJ Walker and his title, however imagine my shock-“
“Ha, shock!” They both nod at each other for the pun.
“…imagine my shock when the man himself is included in the tournament. Not just him though, but Kid Diaz, Jester LeBeau, Vile, Adam Miller, David Berg, all included in this mini tournament to be named the first champion. But we’ve all got a qualifier to get through first, although if I’m honest it feels more like a trial. Your trial is by electricity…even if the element is air.”
“I wasn’t ever too interested in chemistry, so I don’t get it.”
“I was…and I’m not sure I do, the whole thing is looser than a Kanye West argument, don’t worry.”
They both shrug.
“Leaning into the composition of atoms or not, this match is serious. Electrified ring ropes will put you at a major disadvantage in this match. Your greatest weapon is your agility and ability to use every part of the ring to out-fox your opponents, and that has been taken away from you. You’re going to have to work much more compact, much more intelligently that perhaps you’ve ever needed to. And whilst you do that, you’ll have to go against your instincts to head to the ropes whenever you need to get out of trouble.”
“Hey, you always told me it wasn’t easy in this business!”
“I certainly did…but I didn’t have this match in mind when I said it. I’m not sure anybody would have had this match in mind!” He laughs. “Still, you’ve had two fatal four way matches recently, as we said, and we know the risks to that, we know the benefits too, we can use that to our advantage. Equally important, we know one of the opponents fairly well, as you faced Rain Blackheart less than a month ago, and we know how that ended.”
“A Mars Landing and a three count.”
“Bingo.” They fist bump. “I was disappointed with Rain, especially for a man who calls himself the professional. I do hope he brings more to the table in this match, I don’t want anybody making excuses because one player performed like the little engine that couldn’t.”
He winks.
“Speaking of disappointments, I do have another…Trix, I’ve enjoyed our time here so far in UPW. I think you have too, right?”
“Right.” She nods.
“Despite that, and despite some of my previous complaints that you’ve not been getting the recognition you perhaps have deserved, there’s been something that’s bothered me. I haven’t really spoke about it in public before, but you know full well what I’m on about, Trixie. I am, of course, talking about some of the disrespect that some of the so called main stars of UPW seem to be willing to shower upon the rest of the roster here.” He frowns. “And in particular, the disrespect seems to manifest in name calling. I say name calling, the way it is ingrained within the other two opponents you face. I actually wonder if actually there’s some form of condition they both have, or if there’s something in the water here in Vegas that can manipulate one’s ability to call somebody by their actual name.”
“Or maybe the water is regressing these guys into teenagers, because their insults are on that level.”
“Indeed. Ironically, your other two opponents, Jester LeBeau and CJ Walker are probably two of the most guilty in terms of this sad trait. They have, as far as I can see, been around here for a good while as well. This adds weight to the theory that there may be something in the water. To that end, I’ve decided we needed to test the theory, since there’s so much science going on, why not conduct an experiment to test our hypothesis.”
“…yeah you definitely paid more attention than I did.” Trixie’s eyes narrow.
“Instead of bottled water, I’ve had us drinking the local stuff all day.”
“Wait…really?” She looks at her half empty glass in shock.
“And now, we’re going to name the three opponents you have at Free For All. In theory this should be easy, but if I’m right and there is something chemical going on, well…who knows what names we’ll give them!”
“Seriously how did you switch my water-“
“Let’s begin!” Arnold doesn’t allow Trixie to go any further down that rabbit hole. “Trixie, you’re up first, tell me, who do you see here?”
Rob has grabbed a set of three pictures, all face down. Trixie shakes her head, a little bit caught out by all this. Not to be discouraged, Arnold lifts up the first picture, which shows:
“That’s Rain Blackheart.”
“Good, and the next one…”
“You’re actually making me do this…” Arnold glares in a way that makes her tow the line, not before a sigh. “That’s Jester LeBeau.”
“Mhm, good. And finally…”
“CJ Walker.”
“Excellent! You're clearly not affected! Now, in the interest of collecting as much data as possible, I’ll do the test as well.”
Arnold slides the pictures to Mars, who rolls her eyes once more, but keeps the bit going.
“Okay…First off…” Her tone is one of a teenager that has checked out. She holds the first picture up…
“Disappointment Blackhole.” Arnold is playing this straight as a die, and Mars sees right through it, and rolls her eyes once again.
“…and the next…” Tone even more unimpressed.
“Wonka LeBeau.” More straight face, more eye rolling in reply.
“And finally….thank god.”
“That…That’s CJ Wanker.” Arnold looks like a kid who’s just earned his first gold star, eventually though he breaks, a stifled laugh breaking the not so hidden façade. “Okay look, of course there’s nothing in the water here, but there is a huge degree of disrespect. Jester LeBeau seems to get his kicks by calling Trixie two different chocolate bars like he’s actually the fat kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, allegedly rehabilitated, but secretly he’s dressing to be the next Wonka and can’t help but name call to make himself seem interesting.”
“Oh damn.”
“Then there’s CJ Walker, a man who’s so freaking arrogant not to even consider Trixie a threat because he can’t pull his head out his ass for five minutes. All the while calling Kid Diaz Baby Diaz over and over like it’s some form of hilarious joke. Here’s the thing CJ, it isn’t. You’re just a guy that likes the sound of his own voice and likes to try and grind down people like Diaz, like Trixie, and like anybody else in UPW that have had to endure you. Because that’s all you are, an enduring wanker, but here’s the dirty little secret about you CJ, you’ve wormed your way not favour, you keep the stale repetitive spiel and you assume it’ll get you by because you’re a massive guy that can power his way out of trouble. But I would wager your wrestling IQ matches your actual IQ, and when you put yourself amongst the real players, you get found out.”
“…Oh damn.”
“All three of you are on notice. This match may not favour Trixie Mars, but she’s going to make you all know you’ve been in a fight, and win or lose, she’ll be coming for you CJ. Unless, of course you don’t get found out by Kid Diaz again, and if so then she’ll be coming for him instead, because Trixie Mars belongs at the top of UPW. She’ll either make the Elemental Championship more valuable than the others, or she’ll claim the Openweight Title…hell…maybe she’ll even take both. I don’t need to conduct any more experiments to know that she could.”
Arnold leans back towards the camera, as if to tell it a secret.
“Free For All? You’re all going to stand up and take notice of the mess that Trixie Mars makes.”
"Damn right you are." Trixie also leans in to deliver the final line, and we cut.
“So, finally Madame Wu sees sense and puts Trixie Mars in with the big boys. Now, don’t get me wrong it’s not the opportunity we’d have liked, although it’s sort of in the format we’ve come to expect.”
“Seriously I’ve never been in so many fatal four way matches!” Trixie chimes in.
“But this one at least has a twist.” He pauses. “I feel like I should have added an electricity based pun there.”
“You could have gone for it’s an amped up fatal four way.” He snaps his fingers and nods at Trixie in agreement.
“You’re right, I could have, damn. I’ll try and get another one in later.” He smirks. “Anyway, Trixie, you’re now in the mix for a brand new title in UPW, the Elemental Championship. When it was announced, part of me wondered if it was to distract some of the bigger players from circling around CJ Walker and his title, however imagine my shock-“
“Ha, shock!” They both nod at each other for the pun.
“…imagine my shock when the man himself is included in the tournament. Not just him though, but Kid Diaz, Jester LeBeau, Vile, Adam Miller, David Berg, all included in this mini tournament to be named the first champion. But we’ve all got a qualifier to get through first, although if I’m honest it feels more like a trial. Your trial is by electricity…even if the element is air.”
“I wasn’t ever too interested in chemistry, so I don’t get it.”
“I was…and I’m not sure I do, the whole thing is looser than a Kanye West argument, don’t worry.”
They both shrug.
“Leaning into the composition of atoms or not, this match is serious. Electrified ring ropes will put you at a major disadvantage in this match. Your greatest weapon is your agility and ability to use every part of the ring to out-fox your opponents, and that has been taken away from you. You’re going to have to work much more compact, much more intelligently that perhaps you’ve ever needed to. And whilst you do that, you’ll have to go against your instincts to head to the ropes whenever you need to get out of trouble.”
“Hey, you always told me it wasn’t easy in this business!”
“I certainly did…but I didn’t have this match in mind when I said it. I’m not sure anybody would have had this match in mind!” He laughs. “Still, you’ve had two fatal four way matches recently, as we said, and we know the risks to that, we know the benefits too, we can use that to our advantage. Equally important, we know one of the opponents fairly well, as you faced Rain Blackheart less than a month ago, and we know how that ended.”
“A Mars Landing and a three count.”
“Bingo.” They fist bump. “I was disappointed with Rain, especially for a man who calls himself the professional. I do hope he brings more to the table in this match, I don’t want anybody making excuses because one player performed like the little engine that couldn’t.”
He winks.
“Speaking of disappointments, I do have another…Trix, I’ve enjoyed our time here so far in UPW. I think you have too, right?”
“Right.” She nods.
“Despite that, and despite some of my previous complaints that you’ve not been getting the recognition you perhaps have deserved, there’s been something that’s bothered me. I haven’t really spoke about it in public before, but you know full well what I’m on about, Trixie. I am, of course, talking about some of the disrespect that some of the so called main stars of UPW seem to be willing to shower upon the rest of the roster here.” He frowns. “And in particular, the disrespect seems to manifest in name calling. I say name calling, the way it is ingrained within the other two opponents you face. I actually wonder if actually there’s some form of condition they both have, or if there’s something in the water here in Vegas that can manipulate one’s ability to call somebody by their actual name.”
“Or maybe the water is regressing these guys into teenagers, because their insults are on that level.”
“Indeed. Ironically, your other two opponents, Jester LeBeau and CJ Walker are probably two of the most guilty in terms of this sad trait. They have, as far as I can see, been around here for a good while as well. This adds weight to the theory that there may be something in the water. To that end, I’ve decided we needed to test the theory, since there’s so much science going on, why not conduct an experiment to test our hypothesis.”
“…yeah you definitely paid more attention than I did.” Trixie’s eyes narrow.
“Instead of bottled water, I’ve had us drinking the local stuff all day.”
“Wait…really?” She looks at her half empty glass in shock.
“And now, we’re going to name the three opponents you have at Free For All. In theory this should be easy, but if I’m right and there is something chemical going on, well…who knows what names we’ll give them!”
“Seriously how did you switch my water-“
“Let’s begin!” Arnold doesn’t allow Trixie to go any further down that rabbit hole. “Trixie, you’re up first, tell me, who do you see here?”
Rob has grabbed a set of three pictures, all face down. Trixie shakes her head, a little bit caught out by all this. Not to be discouraged, Arnold lifts up the first picture, which shows:
“That’s Rain Blackheart.”
“Good, and the next one…”
“You’re actually making me do this…” Arnold glares in a way that makes her tow the line, not before a sigh. “That’s Jester LeBeau.”
“Mhm, good. And finally…”
“CJ Walker.”
“Excellent! You're clearly not affected! Now, in the interest of collecting as much data as possible, I’ll do the test as well.”
Arnold slides the pictures to Mars, who rolls her eyes once more, but keeps the bit going.
“Okay…First off…” Her tone is one of a teenager that has checked out. She holds the first picture up…
“Disappointment Blackhole.” Arnold is playing this straight as a die, and Mars sees right through it, and rolls her eyes once again.
“…and the next…” Tone even more unimpressed.
“Wonka LeBeau.” More straight face, more eye rolling in reply.
“And finally….thank god.”
“That…That’s CJ Wanker.” Arnold looks like a kid who’s just earned his first gold star, eventually though he breaks, a stifled laugh breaking the not so hidden façade. “Okay look, of course there’s nothing in the water here, but there is a huge degree of disrespect. Jester LeBeau seems to get his kicks by calling Trixie two different chocolate bars like he’s actually the fat kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, allegedly rehabilitated, but secretly he’s dressing to be the next Wonka and can’t help but name call to make himself seem interesting.”
“Oh damn.”
“Then there’s CJ Walker, a man who’s so freaking arrogant not to even consider Trixie a threat because he can’t pull his head out his ass for five minutes. All the while calling Kid Diaz Baby Diaz over and over like it’s some form of hilarious joke. Here’s the thing CJ, it isn’t. You’re just a guy that likes the sound of his own voice and likes to try and grind down people like Diaz, like Trixie, and like anybody else in UPW that have had to endure you. Because that’s all you are, an enduring wanker, but here’s the dirty little secret about you CJ, you’ve wormed your way not favour, you keep the stale repetitive spiel and you assume it’ll get you by because you’re a massive guy that can power his way out of trouble. But I would wager your wrestling IQ matches your actual IQ, and when you put yourself amongst the real players, you get found out.”
“…Oh damn.”
“All three of you are on notice. This match may not favour Trixie Mars, but she’s going to make you all know you’ve been in a fight, and win or lose, she’ll be coming for you CJ. Unless, of course you don’t get found out by Kid Diaz again, and if so then she’ll be coming for him instead, because Trixie Mars belongs at the top of UPW. She’ll either make the Elemental Championship more valuable than the others, or she’ll claim the Openweight Title…hell…maybe she’ll even take both. I don’t need to conduct any more experiments to know that she could.”
Arnold leans back towards the camera, as if to tell it a secret.
“Free For All? You’re all going to stand up and take notice of the mess that Trixie Mars makes.”
"Damn right you are." Trixie also leans in to deliver the final line, and we cut.
